Notes Scenario 1 Your kid is attending a chess class. There is an upcoming chess contest in three days. Only two kids are selected by the teacher to compete in the contest and yours is one of the them. In the parents chat group, The teacher is announcing the cancellation of the next class due to that he/she will take the two kids to the contest. The parents of other kids complain and protest that it is unfair for the teacher to make such a decision on his/her own without even informing them, and why won’t their kids be able to enter the contest.

Notes Next session Homework Ch? Host Volunteer foo bar

Notes Ch10: Yeah, But 1. Sexual or other harassment blatantly 公然的；明目张胆的；露骨的 2. My overly sensitive spouse 3. Failure to live up to agreements hypocrite 伪君子，伪善者 4. Deference to authority deference 顺从 catch-22 https://book.douban.com/subject/34434957/ inadvertently 不经意地 5. Failed trust CPR 心肺复苏？ 6. Won’t talk about anything serious 7. Vague but annoying 8. Shows no initiative 9. Shows a pattern Groundhog Day https://movie.

Notes Chapter 9: Move to Action Next session Homework Ch10 Host Volunteer Hongyan

Notes Chapter 8 Next session Homework Ch9 Host Volunteer foo bar

Notes Next session Homework Ch8 Host Volunteer foo bar

Notes Chapter 6: Master My Stories What’s making Maria Mad? p. 106 The worst at dialog … The good at … The best at … Cheap shots: a cheap shot a criticism or attack on someone that is unfair: I think her making fun of his wife was a cheap shot. How to retrace your path? p.112 Act: Notice your behavior Feel: Get in touch with your feelings Tell story: Analyze your stories See/hear: Get back to the facts Write it down your story Write letters to your loved one Watch for Three Clever Stories Victim Stories “It’s Not My Fault” Villain Stories “It’s All Four Fault” Helpless Stories “There’s Nothing Else I Can Do” Next session Homework Ch7 Host Volunteer Samantha

Notes Ch5 Apologies should be unconditional Next session Homework Ch6 Host Volunteer Mia

Notes Ch4 watch 2 elements the content of the conversation (the topic under discussion) what people are doing in response dual-processing (simutaneously watching for content and conditions) watch for 3 different conditions the moment a conversation turns crucial signs that people don’t feel safe (silence or violence) your own Style Under Stress 3 signals physical emotional behavioral silence masking avoiding withdrawing violence controlling labeling attacking the test: Your Style Under Stress Test Next session Homework Ch?

Notes Chapter 4 Start with your heart Don’t be the friends of your children when they’re too young. Focus on What You Really Want When handling incident, want: more information about what is really happening Heart work on me first Control your kids to define what is “control”, whether it is protecting instead of controlling; kids might tend to do somethings what their parents/family members do to feel belonging and safe; step to step plan for “control” kids when kids are growing to be capable to make good decision and good control of their lives; Is there a conversion you can really stay focused?